So there I was, minding my own business on Friday afternoon and dicking around on the computer, when the maid started calling me from the living room. She never calls me unless she wants to show me the latest thing she has broken, so I feared the worst; but instead of destruction she pointed out a mat next to the patio.

“Yes, nice mat”, I agreed; but that did not placate her so I looked again and on the mat was a praying mantis. Ace! I have always wanted to see one of these. With a degree of stealth born from days months years of training in the boy scouts, I crept up on it and caught in a kitchen container.

Next to set up a suitable area to photograph it without it flying away. High plastic walls surrounding a bush imported from the balcony would serve the purpose. While I was setting this up, the maid was fretting about the condition of the mantis which was in an airtight container. “It will have no air to breathe Khun Spike” she nagged, while I silently calculated that there was enough air in the container to keep the beast breathing for at least a week. Other than her inability to calculate insect oxygen requirements, I didn’t understand why she is fretting; she is happy enough to eat her own weight in fried insects given the opportunity.

Finally, mantis met bush and I fired off a few shots, a couple of which I put in the last post. Here a couple more:

There has always been one lens that you have to own for your Micro Four Thirds camera, the Panasonic 20mm F1.7. Why? Because it is small, light, takes great images and can be had for a reasonable price. And now there is a second must-have, the Olympus 45mm F1.8. Why? Because it is small, light, takes great images and can be had for a reasonable price.

I don’t have it yet because I couldn’t find any stock in Pattaya or Thailand my finances do not permit another lens purchase at the moment; but Nik has acquired one and lent it to me for a couple of hours this morning.

First impressions; this thing really is small and it really is light.

It wasn’t all Olympus this morning, this was taken with the Yashica 55mm macro, manually focused. Took 34 shots, this is the only one where I caught focus on the insect.

What is it with Americans and their teeth? They obsess over dental hygiene; making regular trips for expensive treatments to ensure that their smiles are always white. Sounds a little gay to me.

Not like we Brits. We will happily cultivate a festering mouthful of disease rather than risk a visit to the house of pain. Or maybe it’s just me.

It wasn’t always so. When I was young I was happy to visit the dentist as often as possible. This was because my grandfather was a dentist and a filling-free visit to his chair meant a monetary reward; and I was always up for a monetary reward. And indeed I managed to maintain a perfect set of teeth until my grandfather died. Post-grandfather, there was the occasional filling, and the memorably horrible removal of all my wisdom teeth; but my gnashers remain mainly intact; albeit slightly less white than they used to be.

She who must be obeyed’s journey to employment continued last week when she went to met her new boss. Salary was discussed and she suggested that the job was perhaps worth a little more than was being offered. Boss agreed and bumped up her starting salary.

Two days later she is back with the HR department to sign some papers, and the boss calls down.

“I have discussed your salary increase with Bangkok and they are not happy with the figure”. “Oh.” (Worried voice) “Yes, they think you should be paid even more than that; so we are adjusting your salary upwards”. “Oh.” (Delighted voice)

My personal view is that the toilet should be a place of sanctuary, where a man can go with a newspaper, or more recently an iPad, and spend some quiet time alone with his thoughts and a pile of poo.

Doesn’t work so well in our house. If the cats discover I have crept away to the toilet, they cry until they are allowed to join me. They like to watch the flushing stage, especially if there are monster floaters that they can track as they rotate their way downwards. And then there is she who must be obeyed who is no respecter of quiet places. She will come barging in, give me a kiss on the forehead, complain about the smell, then leave. All very charming; but not really my idea of quiet toilet time.

Still, I must have more solitude than the people who use this facility:

Cats are fickle creatures. Only a week since they receive the gift of a magnificent cardboard box, and already they are losing interest.

But today saw the arrival of some cosmetics that she who must be obeyed had ordered from Korea. I have don’t have much confidence that the cosmetics are anything but coloured water with a few face-melting chemicals thrown in; but they really are of no concern. What is important to the cats is that the cosmetics came in a cardboard box; albeit a very small one.

Nothing daunted, Tiki stuffed herself inside the box and has been there all day; much to the chagrin of the other cat who wanted a go.

Last night we sat down to watch a BBC TV programme called “Alex, a life fast forward”.

Alex was 17 when he was diagnosed with bone cancer. By the time we meet him he’s 20, the disease has advanced and he is dying. But you wouldn’t know it. Since being diagnosed he has packed every day with life and adventure and the kid has a permanent grin on his face. He reckons there is no chance of any relationship, given his limited lifespan; but then he meets Ali, they fall in love and they get engaged. A plan to marry in May of this year is brought forward to February due to his declining health; and he dies six days after the wedding.

Not me; but then I feel that the cover of Pattaya Inside Map (whatever that is) is somehow more prestigious.

Comments 🔗

2011-10-06 | Wally Cook says

Who’s a clever boy then - and well done. Didn’t you get a freebie map ! Tight bastards

2011-10-06 | Spike says

No, I have to go and pick up my free copy along with everyone else. I think this ranks alongside having the April photograph in a Malaysian horse food company’s calendar.