It will not have escaped the attention of my regular readers that I am not slow to drop large amounts of cash on gadgets, particularly those involved in the process of taking photographs. What’s going on here? A massive pension, dealing drugs, money laundering for the Russian mob? The truth is more simple, you should see my underpants.

If you did, and I am not suggesting you do, you would discover a ragged selection of faded bits of cloth. I can’t recall when I last bought a new pair; and the same goes for all my clothes. Plus, the condo needs painting, we eat cheap food, I drive a truck and I can’t remember our last holiday. In short, the money that I do have is spent on the important things in life; gadgets.

I have had a few requests to photograph a wedding, and I have refused them all. Most tempting was a wedding at a high-class resort on top of a mountain in India, all expenses paid, plus fee. But there is just too much stress involved. What if I miss a decisive moment, what if my gear breaks, what if I crack and collapse into a weeping puddle just as they are saying their vows. No thank you.

I made a semi-exception for my friend who got married in Bangkok recently, but he had an army of professionals on the job, so if I screwed up it wouldn’t really matter.

And then I was asked to shoot a christening. This scored double minus points. Stress from missing decisive moments, plus a close encounter of the third kind with a representative of the purportedly magic jew; could I cope?

As the parents are my friends I accepted, albeit with some trepidation. The event took place at dusk, the light was coming from behind the subjects and there was every chance of screwing it up. Fortunately, most of the shots look OK, although this first one will need some Photoshop on the white panel in the background.

Did I want to go on a photo trip, enquired my neighbour Nik. Is the pope Catholic? Do I mind being at the car park at 0430 this morning? Is the pope Jewish?

Of course I minded, but I dragged myself out of bed and away we went. Our destination was Khao Khitchakut and a large rock that has become a shrine for Thais to visit. This is because nobody can work out how a big rock came to be standing on the edge of a cliff; and that’s because nobody involved has the slightest bloody idea about basic geology, and chooses to ignore the many other big rocks littered around the landscape, (and you can make a load of money from shrines).

She who must obeyed informs me that “in the old days”, they could pass a piece of string right under the rock, because the rock, somehow magically, didn’t touch the ground. “No, they couldn’t”, was the only rational reply.

We were in the car park at the base of the mountain at around 0700 and then had to take two truck rides to the top. The trip starts out on a gradual slope…

Had a conversation with she who must be obeyed regarding our relationship. The topic under discussion was how comfortable we felt with each other and how we could be ourselves when we were together.

All positive stuff; but I could tell she really wanted to make a statement to confirm just how at ease she felt in our marriage. Finally, she found the words she wanted to say:

If I did a heart-shaped poo, I would invite you into the toilet to look at it.

Rather busy the last couple of days, shooting ladies on horses.

The ladies tournament features teams with three ladies and one man. The male is limited as to what he is allowed to do, but it does include interfering with the opposition: